10 indicators you need to up your mental health game

This article could also be called 10 signs you are a human being  BUT, in order to achieve a level of mental health that is beyond mediocre, we all need to be continually up-ing our game in the area of mental health.  Mental health is not a “one and done” project.  It’s like cleaning your house.   Cleaning needs to be done daily with systems in place to keep it clean.  See if you need to work on these areas.

1. You find yourself repeatedly thinking about things that happened in the past.

You don’t have a solid plan for your future.   Are you thinking about what you want 1 year from now, 5 years, 10 years?  If you are regularly ruminating over past events from yesterday, weeks or even years ago, you need to examine how this is impacting you and your brain.  Most of the time we aren’t aware of how past-focused we are.  Being consistently past focused can make you feel stuck.  It can also habituate your mind and skew your present interpretation of things in a way that doesn’t serve you.

2. Your feelings are repetitive or monotone.

Do you experience a range of emotions?  Meaning, are you able to experience joy, fun, calm, eagerness as well as sadness, frustration, disappointment?  Being able to feel painful emotion instead of covering it with anxiety/stress or distracting yourself is key to your mental health.

3. You regularly spend time buffering. WHAT’S THAT?

Let’s say, you have a stressful day at work SO instead of managing those emotions, you escape and distract yourself by (for example) eating a bag of chips in front of the TV, drinking wine, Facebooking, Pinteresting, shopping. There are many types of buffering but over-eating, drinking, working, shopping are a few of the common ones; even ruminating, over thinking and over exercising can be a forms of buffering. These are activities you engage in to avoid managing emotions (like work-stress, overwhelm, self-consciousness, discomfort, restlessness, fear, boredom…) and all of these buffering actions have a negative consequence on the other side.

• Over-eating → weight gain, loss of energy
• Over-drinking → brain fog, poor sleep, dehydration.
• Over spending → clutter, debt
• Ruminating, Over-thinking → lack of solutions, brain gets habitualized to look for problems / not solutions, confusion
• Over-social media, neflixing…→ not enough time for other goals, lack of connection with self, lack of awareness of self
• Over-working → exhaustion, burnout, overwhelm

4. You feel stuck

You decide that you want to do something and then you can’t seem to make it happen.  Know that on your way to anything you want, you will need to face fears, take risks, work hard.  (damn!)  You won’t feel like doing it (in the moment) but you do it anyway because, remember, you want to.   I’m talking about small stuff too, like cleaning a closet or starting to exercise.

5. You are easily thrown off by people and things that happen around you.

You say things like, if the job wasn’t so demanding, then I’d be more relaxed.  If “that person” were nicer to me then I wouldn’t be so stressed.  If the system worked better, then I’d be able to manage. (trust me, I do it too)  Impossibly attempting to control the environment and people around you in order to feel better is a losing battle.  Understand that you are empowered to make the best of any situation.  Then make decisions with confidence.  Be aware of times when you are in a hurry to escape situations (red flag). (Obviously I mean situations that don’t impose imminent physical danger)    It’s not your job’s job to make you happy- it’s yours.   When you have excellent mental health, you understand your power.  You take responsibility for creating your life on purpose.

6. You aren’t taking time to check in with yourself.

Many SLP’s tell me they “don’t have time to think.”  Do you know what you want? Do you understand your thought patterns? Are you engaging in Self-Coaching on a daily basis? Most people aren’t and in our defense, nobody teaches us this.  It is a skill that you need to practice and develop.   I teach these skills explicitly in my 40 day- Stop Dreading Mondays Program.

7. You’re not acknowledging your contribution to the world.

It doesn’t have to be on a Mother Theresa level, rather, a smile, encouraging others, teaching.  Make the connection to some thing you are contributing to on a larger scale.  SLP’s have these opportunities in spades.  It’s easy to become disconnected and forget that you ARE contributing.  PS, it won’t be the perfect ideal you have in your mind- so let that go.  Acknowledge yourself.

8. Poor Time Management

Do you specifically schedule self care as your first priority? Seriously, I mean as your very first priority.   By self care I don’t mean going to get a manicure or facial.  Things like, getting enough rest, moving your body, relaxing, eating well, time with your family.  Whatever it takes to live the way YOU really want.  Stop giving yourself the leftovers in your schedule. 

9. You’re not managing money

Your relationship with money (and time) is a good indicator of your mental health.  If you regularly over-spend, or under-spend, or get in “tough financial situations.”  It’s worth looking at your mindset, feelings and behaviors when it comes to money.

10. You don’t practice unconditional love for yourself.

You spend time beating up on yourself for mistakes.  Do you judge yourself for differences or failures?  Worry about what others think of you?  Feel guilty about all the things you’re doing, or not doing?  We all need to stop it!

Having outstanding mental health does not come naturally to most of us.

We need to develop the skills of mental health and then practice them ongoing.

Want to learn how?

Schedule a free 20-minute clarity call with me