I hope so

I talk to so many burned out, stressed SLP’s who are terrified of doing it wrong. They are spending hours and hours worrying about failing and making mistakes. Fretting over people telling them they are doing it wrong. THAT (the worrying part) is the true mistake my friend.  We’re so afraid of being a failure.

Here’s why.  When we don’t open ourselves up to doing it wrong it keeps us painfully small. Your brain tells you there is something wrong with you.  Your brain will tell you to stay safe, stop, quit.  In the school setting we teach our kiddos to have a growth mindset, but do we actually practice it ourselves?

WRONG- there is nothing wrong with failing on a regular basis. The process of failing sets us up for learning and the bypoduct is the exact, intricate type of growth we need.  The kind of growth that can’t be replicated by staying “safe” within the parameters of doing what you know, taking it easy, or going with the flow.

Don’t misunderstand though.  I’m not talking about doing or accomplishing at the expense of your self.  You must take care of yourself AND fail.  

We hold ourselves back and it’s painful when we do that to ourselves. We say I’m not sure what I’m doing, there must be something wrong with me.  I messed this up, I’m such a failure. I’m not good. I need to be better. I should know better, do better, be better.  People are going to think I’m (fill in the blank).

If that is the incessant chatter in your brain, you will burn yourself out in no time.

What if we just expected and even planned regular failures as part of the deal in life. What if we didn’t make it mean terrible things about us personally.  When I make it mean that I’m not a good therapist or tell myself I’m just not organized enough, not smart enough, not (fill in the blank) enough.  I have a coach that actually encourages that we fail on a regular basis… and I do.  Oh trust me I do; at work, at home and at my business, but I could be putting myself out there more and failing even more.

Failing with out the barrage of judgement from my brain has opened me up to so much more learning, growth and forward momentum toward things I actually want.

Don’t get me wrong, when this happens I still catch my brain saying DANGER, DANGER, WRONG WAY, ABORT MISSION (my brain is super dramatic) RETREAT, GO BACK TO YOUR CAVE, HIDE!)  In it’s defense your brain thinks it protecting you from something dangerous. Your brain can’t decipher between being chased by a lion and making an error on an IEP;  someone at work questioning your mistake.

You are supposed to be making mistakes regularly, that is how we learn and get awesome. If you’re not allowing yourself to F#?! U* royally, you’re doing it wrong. So get out there and do it wrong. Don’t let making mistakes mean that there is something wrong with you personally. It’s part of the deal.

The even bigger problem is that most of us never even allow ourselves to make mistakes so we don’t even attempt to go for what we really want.

We choose to fail ahead of time before even giving ourselves the opportunity to try.  Are you stuck in a rut?  This might be why.  Failing ahead of time makes me so sad.  I’m sure you could find several typos, grammatical errors… in this article, but I’m not letting that stop me from sharing something that might be helpful.

Give yourself the chance to fail.

If this is seems impossible set up a clarity call with me.

Challenge yourself to make at least one epic fail a month. If you’re to a point where you’re pretty comfortable; get out there and fail.  Growth is exhilarating, although your brain will vehemently disagree.  If you expect to fail you can somewhat override that part of your brain that tells you how awful you are for even trying.  You are worth it!

The price of security is insecurity- I quote I got from Dan Harris in his book, 10% Happier.  (not an affiliate link)

Are you struggling with anxiety and overwhelm? Schedule a free clarity call with me.  Stop suffering. Get help.