I have a history of doing things the hard way. 🙄
Took waaaaay longer than I needed to do most things
Procrastinated
I used THAT as a weapon against myself-got all “should-y”
yes, should-y 💩
Like, I should have this report done, I should be a better SLP, cleaner, mom, report writer
I should BE better as a human- I SUCK. 🤦♀️
That’s a really quick demonstration of where most brains go, when they take the should-y path.
I mean, I wouldn’t intellectually say these things to myself, but unintentionally- I was.
THAT line of thinking causes unbelievable exhaustion and literally, working against yourself
It’s sneaky though, most people don’t even know they’re being mean to themselves- or they think they should be hard on themselves
Because “how else will we learn to be better?” (doesn’t work)
Well, guess what ya can’t do better when you’re exhausted and drained.
For example- report writing
I used to fantasize about the methodology of the project for daydream about the “perfect” most painless way to do it rather than just doing the damn thing
(too exhausted- from should-iness)
Fantasizing justified my lack of action on some level.
Oh hello, Perfectionism, (aka critical bitch)
Which ruins EVERYTHING (dramatic but TRUTH)
😭
I figure, due to procrastination and perfectionism- I have had to work at least 2-3 times harder than many…
BUT
SLPs, THIS is actually common. I’m not alone
This pattern has fed the over-worked, underpaid culture in our field.
We’re exhausted, unconsciously being super hard on ourselves
Our boundaries get skewed.
We (inadvertently) de-value our work and time….
Years of doing this has brought us to working at the expense of ourselves.
…and the system has responded (in some cases exploited)
There are so many SLPs like me
and when I ask myself-
Am I willing to work 3 times harder than most people to create my dreams?
The answer, hands down, is HELL YES 🙌
but NOT at the expense of my well being.
My brain, on it’s own, is NOT on board for hard work and big dreams either
It questions and doubts everything, wants me to “wait and see”
tells me, this (life) is good enough- and it totally is
It’s just, I have dreams. BIG. CREATIVE. DREAMS
My brain wants me to stay on my couch, scroll facebook and snack.
Or
Go down some rabbit hole of research about all my current problems which include
natural ways to keep your grass green, how to get rid of a woodchuck, keto-friendly protein powder, how to get your daughter to stop biting her tongue…
Okay they seem legit- and helpful
(Perfectionism and Procrastination go hand in hand)
but really it’s the sneaky thing my brain does to escape my deepest, truest desires and dreams which involve
Showing up for myself (with love and integrity)!
Being a fun-loving wife and mother,
Getting big transformations for SLPs (and our field)
Loving my career as an SLP and Life Coach
and being a bold example of what is possible
YOU, my dear, can create your life the way you want it
Even if you have too much work, a ton of debt, just don’t feel like it, kids
and are drained (been there)
START HERE
1. Shine some light on your should-y thoughts. Get in your journal and write out all of your “shoulds” (and shouldn’ts) -let it be ugly
2. Target a few of your “shoulds” and ask yourself “why should I” Make it more specific.
3. Tweak those statements to understand. Try using “want” and “because”.
Instead of saying I “should” go to bed earlier and making it mean something bad about yourself because you aren’t. It ends up being a more intentional statement- I want to create a nourishing bedtime routine so that I sleep better because I want to feel more energized to be my fabulous self 😊 you always have a choice.
Most importantly, be kind
Be fabulous in your career and life. Don’t be should-y to yourself
If I’m doing it- you can too
As Always, I Love you ❤️
Angie
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