It’s difficult to change; stop over-working, get a different job, lose weight, start exercising. Even seemingly small changes like bringing less work home or starting to pack a healthy lunch can be so challenging to even start- let alone, maintain.
Weird! These are things we ACTUALLY WANT. We want to feel better. Despise the dread on Mondays. Hate feeling constantly overwhelmed. We want to improve. REALLY, we do,
…or do we???
SLP’s are highly susceptible to burnout because we CAN do it all, but should we? Burnout is a place we find ourselves because we have created it overtime, unconsciously of course. We don’t realize the compounding affect on overall health especially mental health, but also physical health.
Today I’m going to tell you about a huge, sneaky, blocker that gets in the way of our progress and how to move beyond it to make positive change.
When I started my cfy and my first job I worked all night, every night, for 2 to 3 years with the intention that I was investing in making things easier for myself later on. But, that level of working just kind of stuck with me. There was never an end to the work… I had no boundaries, until I hated my job. Resented doing paperwork at night and on the weekends. I felt so drained.
The only solution I could see -was quitting.
When I started my life coach certification, (to get the heck out of being an SLP) I learned some strategic skills. I learned that I was choosing to bring all this work home. When someone suggested that it was MY CHOICE- I was insulted.
My coach asked, “Why don’t you refuse to bring that much work home and constrain yourself to completing what you can at work?” I told her it was impossible and she didn’t know my situation. She didn’t understand the amount of work that was expected of me. I was actually pissed at her. There was no way possible I could make things better, “I just needed to get out.”
I wanted things to be better, but I wasn’t open to any solutions. I certainly wasn’t going to take the responsibility for my misery. It was my job’s fault!-dammit!
I was committed to my problem
When I started opening my mind up to the fact that I could, just maybe, be wrong. Admit that I couldn’t see my way out of my own problems. I had felt very justified in my issues (and believe me- I had the evidence to prove it over and over). On some level (shockingly), I wanted to keep my problems.
Why would anyone want to keep their problems? Why would we want to hang on to our issues? Complaining about our misery. Finding more and more reasons to substantiate my unhappiness and stress. Even though I felt stuck, drained, burned out… I didn’t want a solution.
I wanted an escape.
It was easier to blame my work and be the victim. I certainly couldn’t see a solution. “I’m not the problem, it’s the job”
We don’t like anyone trying to offer a solutions when we are (secretly) committed to being right about the problem.
I wanted to be right!
I wanted to be justified in my problems. To prove that I should have problems given my circumstances, but that left me in a completely powerless place. I just want to be right, more than I want to be happy. huh!?
If we want to change. If we want to stop feeling miserable. Stop feeling drained, burned out, and hopeless….
we must, on some level, see where we could be wrong.
Otherwise, there is no doorway to any kind of improvement.
…And we don’t like being wrong. I don’t- just ask my husband.
Our brain doesn’t want to admit to being wrong either. When you get to a point of feeling drained, burned out, it is caused by a long-term chronic way of thinking, feeling and acting. Our brain gets used to thinking like that. And if you’re human, your brain doesn’t like to change- even if you feel shitty.
Your brain likes efficiency. Your brain wants to be right and it wants to do what it has always done. It’s easier. Your brain can conserve energy that way.
The problem is if you have a habitual way of thinking that makes you feel awful, your brain will want to continue to feel awful, stressed, overworked and drained.
Isn’t that messed up? Your brain will be extremely resistant to any type of different way of thinking or solutions even though what you really want is to feel better, have more energy, do more of things you love.
Are you committed to your own misery?
Whether we are aware of it or not -we all do this. So how can we get out from under burnout and overwhelm?
Allow yourself to be wrong.
Allow yourself to try something new and know ahead of time it will feel uncomfortable. You will want to make excuses. Your brain will want to prove why you should be feeling so crappy. It will tell you- you can’t do it and you shouldn’t try. It will tell you it’s impossible. Even when you know you are making positive changes for yourself.
We must be aware of how these thoughts are just that- Thoughts! They are not facts.
To make lasting change, you cannot grind your way through it. You must change your thoughts, beliefs and feelings in order to combat burnout.
It’s tricky to do this on your own, because you have to use your own resistant mind that (sneakily) does NOT want to change. That’s why having a life coach to teach you how to manage your mind is key.
We all have ideas on what we need to do. We are whip smart- we’re SLPs. So why can’t we make the changes we need to get out of burnout and take the next steps.
What do you want to change?
bring less work home?
take better care of yourself?
more time with your family or to do things you love?
more energy to eat better, exercise, organize your life, lose weight?
change positions or careers?
What do you want?
I offer a free mini-session click here to schedule and I teach a 6 week course on how to manage your mind on a daily basis. So that you can get out of your own way and create your life on purpose, not by default. I show people how to change their thoughts, beliefs and feelings so that they can move forward and make lasting change.
